Legend has it St. Nick used to reward misbehaving children with bundles of twigs, bags of salt, and strings of garlic. Considering these alternatives, a chunk of fossil fuel sounds like an upgrade.

Duke Cannon honors this tradition with the Big Ass Lump of Coal, a premium soap formulated with activated charcoal and the masculine scent of bergamot and black pepper. It’s the perfect gift for fellows who have been a little naughty, but mostly nice.